Des-Pair = Feeling Unpaired with All the Reasons to Live
Dr. Goulston explains how Robin Williams may have been suffering more from des-pair than depression meaning feeling un-paired with hope = hopeless; un-paired with help = helpless; un-paired with worth = worthless, etc. And goes on to say that when people feel such a depth of suffering at being unpaired with what causes us to want to live, we can pair with death as a way to take away the suffering.
What's the takeaway? If you can pair with people in the depths of that suffering, suffering they can't live with becomes pain they can.
How do you do that? You do that by listening in such a way as they not only feel understood, they "feel felt."