Education / Inspirational

Dealing with the Stress of Unemployment - Be Grateful and Multiply

Dr. Mark Goulston is a #1 best selling author of seven books, former hostage negotiation trainer, speaker, trainer, coach and renowned psychiatrist. He is regarded as an internationally renowned expert in the field of empathy and listening. As a result of his rich and diverse background and experiences, Dr. Goulston increases people’s ability to get through to anyone.


Truli is a destination that seeks through inspiration to be a “rising tide that lifts all hopes.” Working Nation is partnering with Truli to help lessen the stress of unemployment by helping Americans develop the technological and other skills required for the many jobs available that are now going overseas.

When you’re the main breadwinner and out of work, inspiration is a very distant second to getting and having a job. 

The more stressed you are by being out of work, the tenser you will be in your job search.  To make matters worse, the more likely that tension will leak through to interviewers in your job search and make it even more difficult to get that next job. And then of course, the more stressed you are and the more you feel you are letting your family down, the more tense they will feel.

Be Grateful and Multiply

When you are stressed, you not only feel that the glass is half full, you often feel it is close to running on empty.  At those times one of the last things you think to do is feel grateful and much less, express it to people.  And therein lies the paradox.

So that you don’t feel so alone at those times, here is what I do when I’m down and stressed, since I am the main breadwinner in my family. It doesn’t come naturally, but once I’ve begun it nearly always lifts me up and lessens my stress.

I have what I call the “Dead Mentors Society.”  I have been blessed by eight mentors who have all passed away and who I’ve recently realized not only respected and believed in me… they loved  me.  Even as I say that word “loved” I feel emotional in my eyes and heart as the gratitude towards them overcomes any stress I am feeling.

What I then do is envision any of them smiling down at me (because I know they are all in Heaven) with that love.  I remember specific incidents and conversations we had and it deepens my appreciation and gratitude towards them.

Then in my mind’s eye I imagine having a conversation with them and do what I call a Power Thank You.  A Power Thank you has four parts.

  1. I imagine something specific and special (here is one example) they did and thank them.
  2. I recognize and acknowledge the effort it took for them to do it, i.e. how they went out of their way to help me.
  3. I tell them in my mind’s eye what it personally meant to me. In the example, I gave you a link to, Dean McNary saved my life.
  4. I commit to honoring them by paying it forward. I did that early in my career by being a suicide specialist and never giving up on people.  I do it now by making introductions between good people that make the world better.  I make on average 25 introductions/week.

After doing the above, I have no idea what I was feeling stressed about.  Furthermore, paying it forward often creates a reciprocal expression of appreciation and gratitude from others and often causes them to pay it forward.

Do this in your life with people living or dead and you will feel better and less stressed.  To make it even better, reach out to that person you’re grateful to and give them a Power Thank You and if they’re deceased, reach out to one of their next of kin.

Let me end by giving you a Power Thank You.

  1. Thank you for taking the time out of your stressed out/overwhelmed world to read this.
  2. I know it took effort to do that, because you may be so stressed that you can hardly concentrate on or read anything.
  3. Your taking the time to read this means to me that in another small way I’ve been able to pay forward what my “Dead mentors society” did for me. And because of that, they’re all smiling at me right now as I am doing that towards you.
  4. Writing this is a small way of my showing my appreciation towards those mentors by doing unto you what they did unto me.

Now some of you may be thinking, "What if I haven't been lucky enough to have a mentor?" You can reach out to your family and thank them for being supportive and also apologize for sometimes being a downer. 

And here's a final suggestion that will also help you get out of the doldrums.  Even though it's the last thing you may want to do, go do some volunteer work with people who definitely have it much worse than you.  The reason for that is that if you're feeling like a disappointment to everyone, when you make and take the time to help these very unfortunate people, they will look you in the eye and be grateful to you, instead of disappointed. Their gratitude mixed with the perspective they might also give you about how bad you have it compared to them, can be a double "pick me up."

Take good care.

Bless those who helped you, bless those less fortunate that you're going to help, bless you, bless us all.

Links to some of my Dead Mentors Society: